Every Thanksgiving, my family does the exact same thing every other family does on Thanksgiving. If I read any of the other Thanksgiving blogs, they would probably have written down the same exact same things that I do on Thanksgiving. And I can’t write that. Oh, no. So that leaves us with the question, what will this blog be about? I would absolutely LOVE to write about how I sit and eat, but like I said, I can’t. Like, I physically can’t. Do you know why? No! You don’t! So that is the story I will tell. And you’re in luck, because this story also has a little to do with Thanksgiving.
You see, my neighbors aren’t what you’d call normal. On one side, you have Big Jim. He lives in a trailer full of garbage and is basically a huge jerk. He always threatens to “smash” people. On the other side is Mr. Mashman. Every Thanksgiving, he comes over to my family’s house. He makes delicious yams. Big Jim on the other hand likes to celebrate Thanksgiving by reading little children’s’ blogs all day. He is what some people might call a loser. Anyway, one Thanksgiving, I was with Mr. Mashman, and I looked over and saw Big Jim scrolling through blogs like a beached whale. I almost ignored him, but then I saw he was reading my blog! I walked up to his window and yelled, “You’re such a loser! Stop reading my blog like a beached whale!” Big Jim looked up at me with hatred, and walked up to his window. Mr. Mashman hid behind my kilt nervously.
“Do you want to know WHY I celebrate my Thanksgiving by reading blogs?” he screamed. I was genuinely scared. “It’s because that’s how I celebrate my ******* Thanksgiving!” He took out a knife. Now I was really scared. “By the way, this blog sucks! Why would you just type numbers?”
“Well, actually, there are 83 words. Plus, I think I deserve full credit, because I ran out of time only because I was making my other blogs awesome, and--”
“NEVER, ever write a poor quality blog again, shrimp. Got it!?”
“You can’t make me,” I said.
“If you make another blog like this again, so help me I will smash Mr. Mashman!” yelled Big Jim. Poor Mr. Mashman. I had to protect him, so after that fateful Thanksgiving I never wrote another number blog again. It is known as the Smashmashman’s Creed.
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