O4: Fonts

My mother is not what this blog is going to be about.

No no no.  What would put an idea like that in your head?  No, this blog is going to be about

Fonts.

Fonts can do a lot to a writing assignment.  Take right now for example.  This font that I’m using makes the very being of this paragraph seem FUNKY.  It would probably take you by surprise if I said something really morbid, like:

My family all died yesterday.

Fonts can change the whole attitude of a paper.  They can make things seem

Scary, or

Old, or

Like there are locusts everywhere.

Now I’m picturing my voice to be all bubbly when I’m reading.  “Once upon a time there was a bubble who blew bubbles in his bubbly soda.”

Some fonts are completely non-understandable.  These are my favorite types of fonts, because you can type any random crap that you want, and still get credit for it on you blogs.  Gablooey.  Oompa oompa boom.  Oompa oompa loompa boom.  Oompa loompa boom.

 

See, that font made everything seem all alien and weird.  But I like using it because it makes it look like I can speak Martian or something. 

I like this font.  It just makes everything look so intense.  For example:

I only had one shot.

Boom.  Do you see what I mean?  That font just whacks you like a hammer when you read it.  Compare it to this:

I only had one shot.

See?  That was just plain weak.  I only had one shot at what?  Having tea with the bunny?  There’s also this classic one:

Confidential.

Classified.

You are not important enough to read what is inside this suspicious manila envelope.

And that ends my fascinating blog on fonts.  And if you really want to know, my mother is fine.  Thank you.