O5: My Writing Process

I think this whole ‘writing process’ tomfoolery is a fallacy.  When I write something, it’s usually right before it’s due.  And when there is no due date, like if I was just writing because writing is swell, then I don’t remember.  The last time I did that, I was in like fourth grade, and it was a story about superheroes or something. 

So to clear things up, I am not aware of any process that I use when I’m writing assignments.  But since I have to write three hundred words, and since I’m desperate because, as I touched on before, I always do my writing on the day it’s due, I will make up a writing process.

Before I do that, though, you must ask yourself why you are reading this blog.  The only possibility is that you want to learn my secrets.  You want to tap into my mind.  You want to BECOME me.  Well let me tell you that as I understand your desires, I possess within me a raw writing talent that cannot be duplicated or mimicked by any human bean.

Now back to my writing process I said I’d do.  First, I find out about what I have to do.  Then I think about how I can make it different than everybody else’s.  Then I usually give up because I can’t think of anything, and go do stuff that has nothing to do with my assignment. 

A day or two before the assignment is due, I have usually made no progress whatsoever on anything.  So I panic, sit down, and my raw writing talent that I mentioned kicks in.  Once that happens, I usually don’t remember anything until the assignment is done.  But I’ve been told that my eyes roll up into the back of my head and I mumble non-English words while rocking back and forth.

That’s how I do it.  Try copying THAT!