I2: Bucket List

I have to make a three item bucket list.  Well that’s fun.  But do you want to know what would make it even more fun?  If I told it in

 Song!

The following song is actually a poem.  So sing it as if you are an extremely boring rapper.

 

If I had a bucket list,

I’d hold the bucket in my fist.

I would not kick that bucket ‘til

I did three things (or I got killed)

Cause there’s a list inside that bucket

That if I complete, I’d tell Death, “Suck it.

I did three things you thought I could not.

I’ve cheated you, Death. I’ve avoided your plot.”

Number one, jump out of a plane in mid-air,

Land at the White House, and once I got there,

Ding dong dash the president’s lair.

I’d float in like a feather, then strike like a viper.

Then I’d run away, barely dodging the snipers.

As Death’s agitation towards me slowly grew

I’d say, “That’s one down, now time for number two.”

I’d go my house, empty the mayonnaise jar,

Fill it with vanilla pudding, then head to the park.

I’d sit on a bench, eat as much as I please,

As bicyclists rode by, then ran into trees. 

I’d cheated Death, cause if that was mayonnaise,

I’d probably be sick or dead within days.

The third one, I’m pretty sure came from YouTube.

But it’s awesomely cool, like a shooba doob doob.

I’d have to wait a long time for this one.

But once I complete it, my bucket list’s done.

It takes place when the doctor asks for my last words.

I’d take one last breath, and then audibly slur

“Yes, just three.”  Then I’d check the last thing off my list

And as everyone waited, I’d cease to exist.