I4: The Ben Files Episode 2

The Ben Files

Episode 2: The Opposable Nosable

            Okay, where did I leave off?  Oh yeah, the world is ending, and there are meteors flying everywhere, and we’re going to die.  Aw. 

Wait a minute… I don’t hear anything.  I don’t see any more meteors either!  Woohoo!  The world isn’t ending.  What a relief.  I’m dancing now.  I’m doing the Macarena. 

Wait a minute.  I hear something.  AW, it sounds really familiar; I know I’ve heard it before.  It’s on the tip of my tongue!  OH YEAH, IT’S THE SOUND OF A METEOR PLUMMETING TOWARDS ME!  That’s right; because the world was just ending and that’s the sound I heard when the meteors slammed into the earth.  Man, I love that feeling.  You know, when you think you know the answer to something and it’s right there in your head but you can’t put a finger on it and then you

BOoOOOM!!

AHHHHHHHHH!  Holy crap, a freaking meteor just landed RIGHT in front of me!  Wow, I could have died.  Ahem. 

Let’s have a look at this meteor, shall we?  It appears to have a bluish green sludge leaking out of it.  I’m going to sniff it.  Ugh, it smells really weird.  Kind of like if somebody eats a really good food and then their breath smells exactly like it and you can’t decide whether that’s good or bad. 

Uh oh, I seem to have gotten some of the bluish green sludge on my nose when I sniffed the meteor.  I’ll wipe it off before my nose gets messed up and I look like the child of Michael Jackson and Voldemort. 

Too late.  My nose is feeling really weird.  I feel… powerful.  I’m changing.  Duvduv.  Duvduv.  That’s the sound of the vein in my forehead.  I feel so alive… awgh, now I feel like I’m going to puke… I’m passing out… I’m dying… GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD…

I just woke up.  Hey, that means I’m not dead!  Sweet.  Well, I should get back home now.  I wonder how long I passed out for.  Man, my face is itchy.  I’ll just scratch it with my nose.

HOLY CRAP.  I JUST SCRATCHED MY FACE WITH MY NOSE.  How the %^#$ did I do that?!  Let me try again.  Awesome!  My nose can move around and grope things like a finger!  I bet it was from that meteor discharge I got on my nose.

Well, I guess that means I’m a superhero.  I’m going home to get some tights.  No more will Alden be harassed by meteors, study hall teachers, and the excruciatingly long and irrelevant reports of WACS News.  For I am…

The Opposable Nosable.

To Be Continued...