My favorite band is the Shoeless Man. The Shoeless Man is a band of two people, one
that plays the spoons and one that sings and plays the tambourine. The one who plays the tambourine and sings is
technically THE Shoeless Man, because he never wears any shoes. The other guy wears boots and overalls. Together, they weave lyrical and musical
magic.
One of my favorite songs by The Shoeless Man is Mobile Home. This song is about The Shoeless Man’s house
in his childhood years, and features a spoon solo by the other guy. You know, the one with the boots and the
overalls. With the spoons. Here is an excerpt from the song:
Growin’ up in the
mobile home,
‘Round the creek in my
boots I’d roam.
A-Jumpin’ in the mud
and a-catchin’ them frogs,
Just me, the cousins,
and the dog.
Then the other guy plays his spoon solo: Click Clickety
Click Clicketyclick Click Clack Clickclack.
It sound beautiful.
Last year, when The Shoeless Man went on his world tour, I
followed him to every concert: Memphis, Saudi Arabia, Vatican City, Beijing,
Moscow, and Panama. One time I got to go
up to him and sign his foot, which is one of his shticks. There are a buttload of signatures on his feet
because he never washes them.
Nobody really knows how old The Shoeless Man is, because he
never says anything when he’s not singing.
But we can use relative dating to conclude that he was alive in the
twenty’s, because there is the signature of President Calvin Coolidge on his
ankle.
Very little is known about the other guy. There is a rumor that his eyes blink
vertically, with his eyelids coming from the sides of his eyes, but no one can be
sure because he never blinks; he just has a blank impression constantly.
The Shoeless Man. \m/
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