A lot of people seem to think I’m joking when I say I didn’t
stop watching shows like Sesame Street, Arthur, Veggie Tales, Word Girl, and
Super Why until I was in eighth grade.
Do you see the smile that is not on my face?
Up until I was unusually old, I was not even allowed to
watch PG-13 movies, and when I did, it was Star Wars Three: Revenge of the Sith,
and I had to fast forward through the part where Anakin fell into the
lava.
I used to watch the Saturday morning cartoons every Saturday
with my brothers. That was back before
the Japanese Invasion, and when the shows were actually good. You had your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fast Forward, your Xiaolin Showdown, your
Eon Kid, your Viva Piñata, and your Coconut Fred’s Fruit Salad Island. Awesome shows. But then it changed. I don’t really know what happened. All of a sudden, all of those shows that I
liked got replaced with Dragonball Z-Kai, ten different versions of Yu-Gi-Oh,
and those other Japanese shows where their lips are out of sync and they blast
pure energy out of their hands using their soul or whatever. It’s horrible. Who watches that crap?
I have two televisions in my house. Both of them are color. The one upstairs is really boxy but the one
in the basement is from the future. The
one downstairs also has Netflix, but Netflix does not let you watch Coconut
Fred’s Fruit Salad Island. I fear I have
lost that show forever.
Some people think it’s weird that I’ve never formally
watched Spongebob, but my TV gets around seven channels depending on the
weather. It doesn't really matter though,
because Coconut Fred’s Fruit Salad Island was pretty much the Tops brand Honey
Wheels to the Honey Comb cereal that is Spongebob.
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